The Oscars Without Excitement With No After-party to Go To

The Oscars Review

Wasn’t the writer’s strike over? What a pathetic “make-up sex” the 80th Academy Awards turned out to be! The all-too-long two hours wrapped up in a four-hour package without any heart-stopping moments supposedly had some face-saving circumstances for its slack performance. The hundred-day long strike left everything up in the air until a couple of weeks ago but did they seriously think that Hollywood would let the Oscars go unremarked? Besides, if God can create the universe in six days, surely a fortnight gives enough time to prepare for a decent award show.

With its endless profusion of montages from the past, the evening came close to what it would have been if the strike had not ended. There were times when the writers seemed to be going through the motions as evidenced when introducing Patrick Dempsey as “versatile.” The producers were in such a rush to get winners off the stage although the best moments come from memorable acceptance speeches.

As the host of the Daily Show, John Stewart was relaxed and funny in his second hosting of the Oscars. Only gently touching on his stock-in-trade, political humors, he did manage to score with several amusing ad-libs. One of the most notable moments came when he complained about the modest composer Glen Hansard("Once") by exclaiming, "That guy is so arrogant!" Stewart even dragged Irglova Marketa out again to deliver her remarks.

On the whole, it was a far better night for film than for fashion. There were some definite trends: strapless, wavy hair, toned-down jewels, and a serious lack of make-up or tanning. What was Tilda Swinton, this year’s Best Supporting Actress, thinking as she was getting dressed in her much criticized ‘garbage bag?’

As for Marion Cotillard, the French actress shined as she was awarded the Best Actress of the year for her portrayal of Edith Piaf in “La Vie En Rose.” Her emotional and earnest remarks was later shadowed by always-eloquent Daniel Day-Lewis describing the award as the "handsomest bludgeon in town” after being named the Best Actor for his performance in “There Will Be Blood.”

The former stripper Diablo Cody received the honor for the Best Screenwriter for the surprise hit Juno. There were a lot of first-time nominees and winners although Coen Brothers scooped Oscars including the Best Picture for “No Country for Old Men.”

It was nice to see the soldiers in Baghdad introduce the nominees for the Best Documentary Short Subject, but them saying that they “watch a ton of movies here [in Iraq] and love them all” was tacky and uncomfortable. (If they are in Baghdad watching movies, can we just bring them home instead?)

A few questions remain in the Octogenarian Oscars where no one apparently tried “too hard to please” as Steward said. Did Cate Blanchett really leave empty-handed? Was Owen Wilson feeling happy enough to be at the Oscars? And finally, were we supposed to think that we are lucky to be getting any at all during the fully staged rendition of three unmemorable “Enchanted” numbers?